Sober Shaming

I guess I should’ve expected it at some point.

I believe I read it somewhere that those closest to you might react the strongest to your new found sobriety. I have survived over 100 days without any hiccups–and then this past weekend happened. Choosing to co-exist, without any booze, seems to make some people uncomfortable. Most will ease their discomfort by asking lots of personal questions. (I’m getting better at pithy answers and I would say this has been the bulk of my newly sober experience.) This weekend, however, I had to put some overdue boundaries in place and the recipient was not amused. After several failed attempts to ruffle my resolve, they went for my sobriety. “Just because you have 100 days behind you, you think you have the world figured out!”

My world is definitely coming together in a much more deliberate fashion, but I wouldn’t be so bold as to claim anything close to total resolution. I am a work in progress and am grateful for every cheerful step in the right direction. I don’t think that my current success affords me some kind of pedestal from which to preach. However, it seems this person took my boundaries as such.

And I get it. Before this decision, I was that person who just wanted peace. I over-simplified “compromise” in that I was the only person compromising. I’d feel resentment, followed by anger for not asking for more, and then I’d stuff it all down and look forward to a quick glass of ‘whatever’ to the ease the tension. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I imagine this will not be my last run-in with someone who wants to make me feel bad for taking charge of my needs-in more ways than one. I have ZERO desire to take any steps back. Z E R O !! I wasn’t aggressive with my request, but I was firm. And it felt good to stand my ground even though it was new for me. Their choice to try and hurt me caught me off-guard, but it did not deter me. If anything, I am more emboldened to stay the course.


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